How to Make Good Books Bad
The Harry Potter Series *Harry is insane. *Add a lot of toilet humor. *Replace Voldemort with a lame, cheesy comic villain. *All of the books have one chapter of product placement. The Warrior Cats series *Rename the series to "Cats, Clans, and Christianity”. *Replace StarClan with the Christian version of God. *Cram Christian messages into every book. *There's merchandise, and the characters advertise the merchandise a LOT. *The Library of Congress/copyright info includes "BUY OUR MERCHANDISE!" *''Way'' too much toilet humor. *The writing is like a mix of My Immortal and Legolas by Laura. *Firestar is weak. *Make Scourge a Gary-Stu. *Make a subseries about another Clan we've never met that has to go thru an emotionally heartwrenching quest. There is a lot of character development and heartbreaking scenes (such as Waterstar, the leader of the Clan, corrupting). But just when it is about to end, everyone says it's bad and leaves the fandom. *Onewhisker/Onestar is the main character, and Firestar is a supporting character. *Onewhisker/Onestar is replaced by a mentally ill cat named Noheart/Nostar who has tendancies to kill. *Have a bunch of 18-year old high school dropouts write every single book. *Noheart/Nostar swears every few lines. *It takes place in a town on the US-Mexican border, rather than in England. *In every book, Billy Mays shows up, no matter what, and gets more time to be described than anyone else. *Have Tigerstar speak in untranslated Traditional Chinese everytime he speaks - nobody understands it except Firestar. *In "The New Prophecy" subseries, the Twoleg construction project actually destroys all of Chelford. All of the characters are completely killed off. A message appears at the end of the subseries reading "YOU REACH END OF SERIES. NO MORE." Everyone turns out to be OK and alive in future books. *Make Tigerstar even more evil. *In "The Last Hope", Firestar's death is more graphic, and half of the book consists of describing stuff related to his rotting body (including the Latin names of all of the different insect species that are eating it). *There is MOUNTAINS of filler in the books. *In one book, Firestar spells out a phone number to call so you can receive a pack of Warrior Cats merchandise. He then proceeds to say "If you don't dial this number, I'll murder your damn family!". *Make BloodClan a rip-off of Team Rocket and have them curse every few sentences. *In each book, one chapter is dedicated to product placement. Wayside School *Create a horrible adaptation that crushes your soul 29 years later. **...like what? The Middle School Series *Rafe is a Gary-Stu. *In each book, one chapter is dedicated to product placement. *Leo is a huge jerk. Diary of a Wimpy Kid Series * Make it a Junie B. Jones ripoff in several ways: ** The book series is named after the titular character. ** Greg goes to kindergarten and 1st grade. ** There are no drawings. ** Make the grammar and spelling very poor. ** Greg is an even worse person. ** The book mainly consists of Greg complaining. ** Greg constantly says "dumb", "stupid", and "hate". * Make each book span a relatively short time. ** And yes, I am aware that The Meltdown took place in six days' time. * The series has 100+ books. * Make Manny look like this: * Get rid of the funny content and replace it with unfunny and inappropriate content. * Add a huge crapload of plot filler. * Fill it with fart jokes. * Fill it with lots of clichés. * Make it extremely unrealistic. * All of the characters are unrealistic and one-sided. * Get rid of Rowley. * Greg has no friends. * The Heffleys are abusive. * Rodrick and Manny switch personalities. * Fregley does drugs. * Chirag and his family are Indian stereotypes. * The series ends with a cliffhanger. Julius Zebra series *Brutus is de-aged to a toddler who acts like a spoiled brat and does toddler stuff. *Julius and his friends are weak and always lose. *Offensive and off-color humor is placed throughout. *Remove the educational value. *It is a rip-off of Animal Farm. *Replace the chariot race in the third book with Julius and Brutus singing nursery rhymes in a singing contest. *Julius' mother is abusive. *Felix collects poo instead of rocks. *Milus and Lucia switch personalities. *Julius and his friends never go home. *Brutus is actually killed off in Grapple with the Greeks. Dog Man Series * Dog Man is extremely stupid * The whole points of the books are Dog Man getting fired and just getting over with it * Remove Lil Petey and 80-HD * Petey is the smart one and he always wins * In Brawl of the Wild Dog Man goes to jail for 30 years * Lil Petey dies Wonder * Make it a picture book. * Really bad and offensive representation. * Chewbacca is replaced by Jar-Jar Binks. * The bullies are good. * The book ends with Auggie dying. Category:How To Category:Random Works! Category:How to make X things Y pages